so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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