And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
