There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
