HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
