Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
