hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
