How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
