HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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