vagina is talking i cant
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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