the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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