I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dicks are not precious.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
