He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
