You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
