Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
