Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
