SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
