her vagine was all disorganized.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
