ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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