That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
