Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
