we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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