In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
