Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
