so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wish i was in the wii world.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
