and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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