i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
