im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
