They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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