I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
