I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
