They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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