oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Too much gin, very little bucket
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
