im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
