You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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