He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
