my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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