Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
