Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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