David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she told me i tasted like america
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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