i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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