If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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