I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
