Quick, to the slutcave!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
