Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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