He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
