cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
