You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
