Sponge bath it is.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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