so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
