I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
im on a boat
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