The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
