Are we in a gay sports bar?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
